Why is Dennis Kucinich likely to get re-elected in a cakewalk? Exhibit A: A new press release from Republican primary candidate Peter J. Corrigan (not the Democratic common-pleas judge of the same name), who is running to take on Kucinich in November for the 10th district congressional seat. While Corrigan rails against Kucinich’s change of heart about voting no on the health care bill, that “flip-flop” is being greeted with sighs of relief among much of his constituency.

Yet Corrgian’s statement says this:

• Corrigan

What is a Congressman’s SOUL WORTH? ONE Magical Mystery Plane Ride On Air Force One. What’s the price of admission on the magical mystery plane ride?

For CONGRESSMAN KUCINICH, it’s his principles, everything he has every stood for in his political career, a flip flop on pro-life, a vote for OBAMA’S health care reform, marriage with the insurance industry and last but not least, he betrays us!

Candidate Peter Corrigan of the 10th Congressional District wants to know, “What did they promise Dennis on his magical mystery plane ride? What could they give Congressman Kucinich to make him defy his constituents wishes and succumbs to political pressure in flip-flopping his vote on healthcare. Congressman Kucinich has built his political career on the backs of hard working Clevelanders, now turns his back on us.”

Make no mistake; Congressman Kucinich has lost touch from where he came. Mark this date, March 17, 2010, Congressman Kucinich no longer stands up for the little guy.

In fact, “the little guy” may have had more to do with Kucinich’s switch than any “magical mystery ride.” On Tuesday evening, about 50 demonstrators stood outside Kucinich’s office, ostensibly offering two opposing viewpoints. MoveOn and HCAN (Health Care for Americans Now) organized a group to urge Kucinich to vote for the bill, while SPAN (Ohio Single Payer Action Network) rallied in support of Kucinich’s longtime advocacy of single payer. But many of the SPAN bunch were quietly saying that Kucinich should vote for the bill as a first step in working toward a single-payer system. All agreed that the current health-care system isn’t working.

Rather than “defying” his “hard-working” constituents, Kucinich finally appears to have listened to them and stood up for them.

Neither Corrigan’s press release nor his website reveals his own position on health-care reform. If, like most Republicans, he believes in no reform, he’s the one that’s out of touch with the people of the 10th district. — Anastasia Pantsios

Telzerow is a fulltime actress who hustles to find work in the scant but growing Midwest movie scene. She appears in commercials, training videos, print ads and plays, in addition to voiceover gigs. She hopes the Meryl Streep project will help her find some film roles.

“It started [as] a project where I would grow in my craft,” explains Telzerow. “Now the goal is to get recognition — in essence, to get more work for [myself]. I don’t want it to be just about me. I’m trying to get other people work.”

Telzerow launched the project on Valentine’s Day and plans to conclude it on Valentine’s Day 2011, with a clip from Streep’s latest comedy, It’s Complicated. So far, she has performed scenes from Adaptation, Before and After and A Cry in the Dark. Next up: Defending Your Life, which will be posted on March 28. It will co-star WNCX morning show host Jeff Blanchard. The most elaborate clip so far involves three actors and crew of four, including a location scout.

“I was always a fan, but not diehard,” says Telzerow. “I’ve only seen eight of [Streep’s] 42 movies. I was thinking of actresses with a wide range of roles. She becomes someone different for every role. She’s the best. So I’m going for the gold.” — D.X. Ferris

The Towpath Trail/Cleveland Flats land deal at the center of a recent controversy (“Who Sold Out the Towpath?”, March 10) has yet to be finalized, as a state agency scrutinizes appraisals commissioned for the property exchange.

The Trust for Public Land, a national nonprofit land-conservation group, has worked out a $4.8 million purchase of two parcels of riverfront property on the Scranton Peninsula, totaling 11 acres and owned by developers John Ferchill and Scott Wolstein. The nonprofit had the land appraised to determine how much state grant money would be paid to developers; critics of the deal say the appraisals were inflated.

The appraisals are being reviewed this week by the Ohio Department of Natural Resources, which is still holding $500,000 needed to complete the land deal. Dave Vasarhelyi, a project manager with the Trust for Public Land’s Cleveland office, says the ODNR wanted to know more about the appraisals in light of the controversy. A decision is expected by the end of the week, says Dameyon Shipley, a state administrator.

The same appraisals passed an earlier state review that allowed the Trust for Public Land (TPL) to secure nearly $3.2 million in state grant money (private money will make up the difference in the $4.8 deal). The land transfer has yet to take place as the nonprofit waits for approval, says Vasarhelyi.

However, critics continue to howl about the deal, noting that properties adjacent to the 11-acre site were appraised by the Ohio Department of Transportation at a much lower value. The ODOT appraisal process, by law, requires two separate evaluations and an independent internal review. No such law or check and balance exists in the process of obtaining public money for projects like the Towpath.

The TPL-commissioned appraiser valued the Flats property at $22.50 a square foot. But the ODOT appraisal for nearby parcels averaged about $7 a square foot, and adjustments were made for each parcel. And unlike the appraisal for TPL, the ODOT appraisals take features like waterlogged land and bridge abutments into account.

Vasarhelyi maintains that the Trust For Public Land picked a state-approved appraiser and that his agency in no way manipulated the appraisal process.

Critics of the grant award process, including heads of nonprofits and a lawyer representing an anonymous client, say public officials have punted their concerns and want more accountability. They have a new ally in Bill Patmon, a candidate for state representative in District 10. Patmon says the appraisals and the overall state grant process needs to be scrutinized by lawmakers. “For a situation like this to arise at a time when the public’s trust in our government has been eroded by county-wide corruption flies in the face of all reason,” says Patmon. — Damian Guevara

Wednesday’s Plain Dealer featured a large ad on page 9 urging Congressman John Boccieri — a fence-sitter on health care — to vote no on the pending reform bill. The not-quite-full-page ad has a picture of Boccieri atop photos of President Obama and Nancy Pelosi (the latter seemingly chosen for its snarling expression) under a headline “A majority of Representative Boccieri’s district opposes the health reform bill.” It asks, “If he votes for it, who is he representing — you or them?” It urges Boccieri’s constituents to ask him not to add the “$2 trillion” cost of health-care reform to the “$12 trillion” deficit.

• Berman

Working for tobacco companies, alcohol distributors and fast-food chains, among others, Berman has opposed the minimum wage (the main goal of the Employment Policies Institute), claimed unions hurt workers, fought against anti-smoking laws, smeared animal-rights activists, declared high-fructose corn syrup healthy, and even downplayed the danger of mercury-laden fish to pregnant women. He was in the thick of the drive to kill the Clinton health-care reform initiative in 1993-94. One of his groups, “Sunlight Scam,” attempted to show that tanning was completely safe, so you know John Boehner is probably a huge fan of his. Watchdog group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) has a website, BermanExposed.org, where you can learn more.

Needless to say, Berman doesn’t have the interests of Boccieri’s constituents at heart as much as those of his own corporate masters. Rethink Reform’s website acknowledges “we need reform,” but then worries that “it’s too big, it’s too expensive and [will] have too many unintended consequences.” For whom exactly? Well, we’re not sure. Most of EPI’s funding comes from anonymous donors, although the right-wing John M. Olin Foundation’s name has been linked to the group.

Northeast Ohioans and John Boccieri aren’t the only ones being targeted by Rethink Reform. Their ads are airing on cable news networks and local TV, and have also appeared in The New York Times and USA Today. As health-care reform moves toward passage, Rethink Reform and other industry and right-wing groups are becoming increasingly frantic. Talking Points Memo has a good breakdown of just how desperate and freaked-out they are. — Anastasia Pantsios

Prepare ye the way of Maitreya:

I heard the story on MSNBC about the unusual "UFO" that has been appearing regularly over Lake Erie for the past 10 days. I do not know exactly what that particular "UFO" actually is. However, it "may" be the "star" that is heralding Maitreya's Presence among us.

Maitreya holds the position known throughout the world as the Christ, Imam Mahdi, Krishna, Bodhisattva, the Messiah, and the Buddha, depending on a person's particular religion. He descended from His Himalayan retreat in 1977 and entered London, England where He has been living as a seemingly ordinary man.

Since January of this year He has been interviewed on numerous television programs in the US but not as the Christ. He is introduced as an ordinary man but with insights into the problems that confront the world. More interviews will follow and eventually He will be invited to address the world: the Day of Declaration. He will announce Who indeed He is and will show us the right way toward a glorious future based on sharing and cooperation, where division, competition, war and greed are left far behind.

In December of 2008 "Share International" magazine sent a press release to the world's media announcing that what appears to be a "star" will be seen around the world both night and day. This "star" heralds Maitreya's Presence among us and is akin to the Star of Bethlehem in biblical days. A month later, in January of 2009, such an unusual "star" began being noticed around the world. Dozens of videos have now been uploaded to YouTube, Internet blogs have appeared asking what it may be, and even a few newspapers have dared mention the unusual object being noticed over their towns.

The "star" is actually 1 of 4 very large spaceships that originate from the planets in our solar system. All of our sister planets are inhabited on what are called the ethereal planes: very fine planes that underlie the dense physical. The UFO crews are our Space Brothers and work tirelessly to clean our atmosphere of the toxic pollutants we dump into it. The most dangerous of these pollutants are levels of radiation that seep from nuclear reactors, unrecognized by our primitive scientific equipment, and is largely responsible for such diseases as Alzheimer's.

You may want to look into the matter further at: www.share-international.org.

Steve Christopher wants to take on Mike DeWine in the Republican primary for state attorney general. He claims that he filed petitions with 2,750 signatures at the Secretary of State's office and somehow, before they could be conveyed to the county boards to be validated, that office lost some 2,000 signatures — counting only 788, of which 638 were validated. He’s threatening legal action, claiming he has the receipt for the 2,750 signatures. But candidates themselves fill in the number prior to the signatures actually being counted, so that proves nothing.

The whole thing smells like a yet another transparent attempt to smear Secretary of State Jennifer Brunner for partisan gain. A group called the “Ohio Liberty Council” is spearheading the charges and appears to be supporting Traci "TJ" Johnson as well (anyone still think she might not be a Republican stalking horse?). The Ohio Liberty Council describes itself as "a statewide coalition of nonpartisan groups in Ohio including Buckeye Firearms Association, Central Ohio 9/12 Project, Cincinnati 9/12 Project, Cincinnati Tea Party, Young Americans for Liberty-OSU, Dayton Tea Party and the Ohio Freedom Alliance.”

Can’t get more nonpartisan than the Tea Party!

Meanwhile, Republican State Senator Tim Grendell, apparently not recognizing a pile of horse manure when he’s about to step in it, has called for an investigation — not of whether Christopher has any valid grounds for his claim, but into the actions of the Secretary of State’s office. Senator, may we suggest heading over to Christopher’s website and having a look at the petitions yourself? — Anastasia Pantsios

The Ohio U.S. Senate race on the Democratic side gets more bizarre by the day.

For a year, the only primary candidates were Lieutenant Governor Lee Fisher and Secretary of State Jennifer Brunner. Then, at the filing deadline in mid-February, two more candidates materialized out of thin air: Charlena Renee Bradley of Lyndhurst and Traci “TJ” Johnson of the Columbus area. Both filed petitions to run despite no visible campaigns. Bradley did turn up last week at the Wood County endorsement meeting; Johnson has had a rudimentary website up since last year, which she only redesigned and updated in the past few weeks.

Last week, both women were declared ineligible; they’d failed to gather the required 1,000 valid signatures. That wasn’t surprising, considering the high rate of invalid signatures even in a carefully run petition circulation drive. Neither candidate appeared to have any kind of staff or volunteer corps.
Now Johnson is stepping up to make attacks on Brunner — attacks which closely echo those made incessantly by the Republican Party during Brunner’s entire term in office. She claims Brunner’s office is engaging in political gamesmanship and deliberately keeping her off the ballot.

Her reckless charges suggest that Fisher did not try to dilute Brunner’s appeal to female voters by urging two more women into the race, as some had suspected. Johnson’s real backers might be the Ohio Republican Party or the campaign of Republican contender Rob Portman.

For the record, the secretary of state’s office doesn’t validate petitions; that’s the job of the bipartisan local board of election in the county in which it was circulated. So Brunner and her staff had no involvement in deciding who was eligible to be on the ballot. Nice try, Traci, but no dice. — Anastasia Pantsios

President Obama will visit Strongsville's Walter F. Ehrnfelt Recreation and Senior Center Monday, March 15. The stop is part of an East Coast/Midwest swing to push for health care reform.

Medina's Natoma Canfield was invited to speak at the event, but she was undergoing medical tests this week. In December, Canfield made national news when Obama read a letter she wrote about her troubles
paying for health care as a cancer survivor and self-employed cleaning woman. After struggling to pay premiums, she let her insurance lapse. Her sister, a Florida resident, has reportedly been asked to speak if
Canfield is unavailable.

Doors open 10 a.m. Monday. The program is set to start at 1. Free tickets will be available on a first-come, first-served basis beginning at 2 p.m. Sunday in the Main Lobby of the Ehrnfelt Recreation and Senior Center. — D.X. Ferris

• sawyerimages.com

What do you know now that you wish you’d known earlier?

How many sluts are out there.

Not to go fuck random people you like. OMG I have fucked well over 200 guys and I’m only 22 and I hate sex now!

The police frown on sex in public places.

I wish that in my early years, I was more comfortable with being bisexual.

Chill on the drinking.

I wish I knew to have less inhibitions 20 years ago.

I wish I would have been able to pick up better on peoples' attempts to flirt with me when I was younger. Looking back I could have had so much more sex.

Don't get so hung up on looks. Some of my best partners have been just average-looking. They carried themselves in a sexy way and tried in bed. The hotter chicks sometimes don't think they have to do more than just look good.

That men don't mind if you use a vibrator.

After protracted negotiations and a recent authorization for a strike vote, the Akron Beacon Journal’s union employees have struck a three-year labor agreement.

The newspaper had called for cuts that would effectively decrease members’ wages by 25 to 30 percent, including a 16.75 reduction in base pay. The new agreement amounts to a 10 percent wage reduction. It reduces base pay by 2.11 percent.

“The negotiators’ tactic was to protect our base pay, which you generally don’t get back,” says Newspaper Guild Secretary Stephanie Warsmith. “When you look at the fact that they wanted to cut our base pay by 12 percent, 2 percent seems better.”

The deal also gives union employees an additional week of unpaid vacation. Under the agreement, the work week is reduced from 40 hours to 37.5 hours — without any corresponding decrease in responsibilities or expected productivity.

“I think our members will see if they’re amenable to working 40 hours,” says Warsmith. “I see them working 40 hours.”

The union employees — over 85 reporters, editors, artists, secretaries and others — accepted five fewer sick days for every two-year period. Warsmith characterizes it as “a significant decrease,” but says it could have been worse: “They wanted us to go to a sick leave policy that was literally worse than Wal-Mart.”
The contract also provides layoff protection for 18 months. If the paper announces layoffs, wages and hours will revert to the previous higher levels.

All union members receive a $200 bonus for approving the plan.

“We’re not celebrating, but our team thought it was the best we can get,” says Warsmith. “It’s better than going on strike or what [the newspaper management] proposed.” — D.X. Ferris

Plain Dealer reporters have been credited with amazing accomplishments in the past decade, from exposing the former Cuyahoga County sheriff to freeing a Perry County man jailed on a questionable charge. Last Sunday, reporter Joan Mazzolini topped those feats when she used her J-school skills to quote the dead.

Mazzolini showed off her wizardry in an epic, 4,600-word front-page story about the Western Reserve Historical Society. She quoted Bill Laidlaw, whom she described as the “recently retired director of the Ohio Historical Society.”

Laidlaw died August 7, two days before he retired.

Turned out that Laidlaw had given the quote to another PD reporter on July 25, according to a scathing e-mail from PD editor Susan Goldberg to her reporting staff.

In her note, Goldberg warned of the dangers of lifting quotes from other people’s stories without attribution. “Call to see if the person can expand on their previous statement,” Goldberg advised. “Call to see if they’ve changed jobs or retired or changed their minds. Call to see if they’re still alive.”

Ouch. — Damian Guevara

Monday night on Countdown with Keith Olbermann, Congressman Dennis Kucinich said that he would be willing to be the deciding vote to sink health-care reform. Video below.

This was news to those who heard him speak on the issue the night before at the annual Cuyahoga County Democrats’ dinner. There, in front of Congresswomen Marcia Fudge, he not only gave no indication that he’d made this hard-and-fast decision about his vote, but suggested that he was still open to discussion. He mentioned meeting with President Obama Thursday and hoping that some kind of agreement would be worked out.

This turnabout vividly demonstrates why Kucinich, for all his stated noble intentions, has proven to be so ineffective. You don’t build coalitions by telling your fellow Democrats — including someone like Fudge, who shares his goals but is far more practical-minded — you’re willing to talk when you’ve already decided you won’t budge from your single-payer-or-nothing position. — Anastasia Pantsios

“It is the governor’s preference that a lane be included if possible,” says Wurst. “He was hearing from local leaders that a bike-ped lane would provide the city with a multimodal transport option. He asked them to explore whether or not it would be feasible. Obviously, safety and cost factors have to be taken into consideration.”

Wurst wouldn’t say specifically, but since Congressman Dennis Kucinich and the Cleveland Planning Commission have publicly supported the idea for some time, the local leader she’s referring to is probably Senator Sherrod Brown, who sent a letter to the governor on March 4 expressing the strongest support yet for the multi-modal lane.

“With a strong and growing bicycling community in Cleveland, a sizable carless population, and new development in nearby neighborhoods, it would be penny-wise and pound foolish to build this bridge with only cars and trucks in mind,” wrote Brown.

Wurst says there’s no specific time frame for ODOT to get back to the governor on the safety and cost factors, but three design finalists will be announced March 23.

Meanwhile, activists say the cost and safety issues are manageable. As Cleveland Bikes director Kevin Cronin says, “We think any multi-modal lane designed for this bridge would more than measure up on those points. Those are distractions, not really arguments. This is a project that represents where we are going as a community.” — Michael Gill

The Cleveland Coalition held its debut event Friday evening at the City Club of Club. A packed house of people of all ages showed up to hear four panelists talk about the potential impact of the new casino on Cleveland, and how to make that impact positive rather than negative. Panelists included architect Christopher Diehl, an associate professor at Kent State University; Len Komoroski, president of the Cavaliers (representing Cavs/casino owner Dan Gilbert); architect David Schwartz; and Hiram College president Thomas Chema.

Diehl and Schwartz spoke about the potential for architecture to connect a casino to city life. Schwartz’s presentation covered how different types of casino designs — the “urban” and “suburban” models — can connect or shut off casino activity from its surrounding environment. His conclusion was that most existing urban casinos follow the “suburban” model, in which the goal is to keep the visitor captive inside. He pointed to the gargantuan casinos lining the Biloxi, Mississippi, waterfront — none of which has beach access.

Komoroski seemed stuck in campaign mode, touting the business acumen and success of his boss, and claiming that attentiveness to “giving voters what they wanted” was responsible for passage of last November’s casino issue after numerous prior failed attempts. (A well-financed campaign that made grand claims about job creation probably didn’t hurt.)

Chema opened by saying “I don’t know why I’m here,” and after his presentation, I wondered as well. His Gateway boosterism omitted the fact that, as executive director of the Gateway Economic Development Corporation in the ’90s, he spearheaded a project that had financial problems — mostly to the detriment of the taxpayers — and failed spectacularly to deliver on its rosy economic promises (we’re still waiting for those 28,000 high-paying, permanent jobs). He insisted that, although the Gateway sin tax barely passed, today you can’t find anyone who will admit to having voted against it (I will!) and that “no one wanted the developers and owners to make money.” He seemed oblivious to the fact that all the profits flowed to the developers and owners, while the taxpayers footed the bills.

The discussion certainly didn’t solve the biggest issue looming over the casino: how to make it a success without draining the life out of other parts of the city, especially downtown. But it did provide some provocative ideas about what success — and failure — might look like.

The Cleveland Coalition is an informal group formed late last year to encourage public engagement and solution-seeking on key civic issues. Founded by Fran DiDonato, Jason Bristol and Eric Wobser, it currently includes a group of nine organizers. DiDonato said they launched with the casino forum because, “It’s sexy. We thought we could get a crowd. After the election, no one was talking about it anymore, and we wanted start creating a dialogue.” — Anastasia Pantsios

• sawyerimages.com

What’s the worst pick-up line you’ve ever tried or heard? What was the best?

Editor's note: Two responses to this question came up so many times that they deserve special note. The first: At least two dozen people cited this as the worst pcik-up line ever: “Are your legs tired? Because you’ve been running around my mind all night.” And the second: At least that many women insisted that the best line is some variation of, “Hi, my name is ____, and I wanted to meet you.”

The worst is “Hey can I borrow a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I fall in love.”

“Do you know karate? Cause that body's kicking!”

Worst: “Your father must have been a thief: He stole the stars from the heavens and put them in your eyes.”

Worst: “If you were yogurt would you be fruit at the bottom or stirred.” Best: “I’m in a band.”

Worst: “Nice shoes, wanna f**k?" Best: "Hi, my name is (insert name), and I'll be going home with you tonight."

Best: Someone told me that they wrote the screenplay for the movie
Beer Pong. I don't even know if there is such a movie or if it really needed a
screenwriter, but I gave him points for originality.

“Didn't you used to babysit my best friend?”

My guy friend likes to use, "You're almost as pretty as my mom." I like that one.

The best was my ex, he told me my eyes were mezmerizing.

I'm a ginger, so anytime a dude says he has a “thing” for redheads, I get a little skeeved out. I try real hard to resist the urge to retort with, "Well, maybe you'll find one someday who has a ‘thing’ for creeps and live happily ever after."

Bad: “Do you wanna fuck or do I owe you an apology?” Good: “How was your day?”

"Do you work for UPS? Cause I saw you checking out my package."