Ohio Woman Injured by Booty Enhancing Shoes
Some are born with it, others have to earn it. The verdict on Skechers Shape Ups — the shoes that promise to put junk in your trunk — is still out. The sales pitch claims that a couple laps a day strapped into these stylish rigs and in no time you’ll be backing up a…
Local Group Backs Lemonade Stands… at $5,000
Come spring, if you sidle up for an ice cold lemonade in a styrofoam cup, keep in mind that the lemonade stand you frequent may be part of a grant subsidized, franchise conglomerate. A national group has given rise to Lemonade Day and incentivized youngsters to get serious about their citrus. Thanks to a grant…
Husband Slips Ecstasy Into Wife’s Dinner
Who knows what would drive a man to slip some Ecstasy into his wife’s food. Maybe he thought she’d be more fun high. Maybe he thought it would kick up her sex drive. Maybe he wanted to have a dance party later in the night. Whatever the case, 44-year-old Anthony Colapietro has some explaining to…
Rock Hall Screens Inductions for Everybody Not Going to NYC
This place will be rockin’ on March 14 We’re guessing you’re probably not springing for a trip to New York City on March 14 to watch the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induct the class of 2011 in person. So the Museum itself will be beaming the whole thing live. For a mere $5,…
Pic of the Day: Abraham Lincoln Addresses Cleveland, February, 1861
If you’ve ever strolled by the corner of W. 6th and Superior, you may have noticed a small plaque on the side of the Rockefeller Building that says something to the effect of, “Abraham Lincoln spent the night here on February 15, 1861.” That was 150 years ago today. Back then, the Rockefeller Building was…
Blossom Announces First Shows of 2011
You probably aren’t thinking about the summer concert season yet, but if you’re a true-blue country fan, maybe you should. The first concert announcements for Blossom Music Center have just arrived. As has been typical in recent years, it looks like the season will be anchored by country superstars, including Sugarland (May 13), Kenny Chesney…
Groundbreaking for Downtown Aquarium Not Particularly Fishy
When the hosts of Monday’s “groundbreaking” for the new aquarium to be built in the Powerhouse at Nautica invited the assembled mob to return in six months for its opening, most were likely hoping that that will be a more exciting event. The press conference featured a row of speakers that resembled Governor Kasich’s cabinet…
Wally Szczerbiak, Random Dude
Miami (OH) basketball legend and former Cavalier Wally Szczerbiak is doing analyst for CBS. He should tell them that. Maybe even spell his last name out for them if that’s what they’re confused about. (Via The Dagger)
Did You Kill This Man’s Fish?
Too great not to pass along. From the Sun Star Courier’s police blotter: STRONGSVILLE BURGLARY, WHITNEY ROAD: A man reported to police at 7:28 p.m. Jan. 31 that someone had broken the door on his locked apartment and killed his fish. Hopefully Strongsville’s finest are on the case.
Michael Symon Opening B-Spot at Crocker Park, Strongsville Location Set to Open in March
Just as construction comes to a close on Michael Symon’s second B Spot, a third location is now in the works. (Not counting the Q.) B Spot Strongsville is on target to open its doors in mid-March, says Symon, calling from Los Angeles where he was prepping for the Conan show. Up next for the…
The Lust Poll Results, Bonus Online Edition
You bombarded us with so many terrific, and perverse, responses to this year’s Lust survey that only a small fraction of the answers actually made it to print. Lest we deprive your fellow citizens of the full extent of your depravity and anonymous sexual confessions, we decided to post a bonus online edition today featuring…
John Boehner Defends Dumb People
Think Obama isn’t an American citizen? Think our President is a Muslim? You are dumb. Sorry, just a fact. But this is America, after all, and you have the right to be ignorant if you wish — we’re pretty sure it’s a provision included by our wise forefathers in the Constitution, right after separation of…
Steve Urbansky, Sidewalk Mower, Gets DUI, Coins Catchphrase
The wit was flowing. And the world is handed a new catchphrase. This news story wouldn’t even be a news story had it not been for the boozebrained inspiration of the protagonist here, Steve Urbansky of Lorain. The 46-year old was collared by police a little after midnight Sunday morning, according to Fox 8. The…
Pic of the Day: Superman Street Signs
Glenville street signs just got a lot cooler. The PD reports: Street signs bearing the familiar stylized “S” insignia for Superman and honorary street names “Joe Shuster Lane” and “Lois Lane” were installed recently by the city to honor the neighborhood where teenagers Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster created one of the best known mythical…
Shooting at Columbus Uber-Mall Easton
That’s a big mall. Columbus, as any true-blue Clevelander knows, is a nice town. Too nice. Outside of OSU’s big, fratty sprawl, the state capital is about as exciting as a sneeze. That said, topping the list of reasons to stop by our southern neighbor is the area’s very own Emerald City just north of…
Morning Brew: NASA Funding, Improv’s Last Night, Secret of Living to 100, and Windy Wind
Good morning, Cleveland. Here’s some stuff to read while you add chorizo to the Big Popper sandwich at Melt. Trust us. — NASA funding is in limbo as the space cadets await President Obama’s budget today. Let’s see how badly the President wants to find aliens. (Cleveland.com) — The Improv is closing up shop at…
Machine Gun Kelly Takes Aim in Missouri
MGK, lacing up for Midwest domination When I first met and interviewed Cleveland rapper Machine Gun Kelly in the summer of 2010, he seemed eager. He was working on Lace Up, his mixtape that would come in at No. 30 on XXL magazine’s list of the 100 best mixtapes of 2010. As we spoke about…
Man Arrested For Masturbating At The Mall
Gentlemen, just a friendly tip here. Not a good call to whip it out and masturbate in your car in the parking lot of a mall. Not only does no one want to see that, if they do see it, it’s likely that you’ll be in a spot of trouble. Not everyone needs that reminder,…
The Cavs Are Phenomenally Successful At Being Horrible
A losing streak for the ages. A roster of D-League players. A batshit-crazy owner. Doesn’t matter. The Cavs are making money hand over foot like never before. How? Their expenses are way down, having stayed under the luxury tax bar this year after James, Shaq, and others left. At the same time, all their revenue…
New Studio Opening in Lakewood
Roosted in Lakewood’s Birdtown district, Dovecote will house an unexpected flock of colleagues when it opens at the Screw Factory on March 11. Despite their varied mediums and backgrounds, jewelry artists Kathy Patton and Teresa Crompton and printmaker Sarah Darby share a vision of a studio/gallery offering finely crafted goods and a welcoming air, even…
Local Crafts Coming to Lakewood
“People want to know that when they buy something, they’ll have a connection to it. There’s something to be said when they can tell a story about the person behind a vendor,” said business owner Joanna Orgovan. With her husband Matthew and partner Chris Sorensen, Joanna hopes to connect buyers and sellers at their new…
Man Punches Woman at Chuck E Cheese
Stuff gets real at Chuck E Cheese, if you didn’t know. It’s not the venue for screwing around. There are tickets to be won, prizes to be claimed, kids to keep in check, pizza to be slammed, and moles to be whacked. Tempers can get heated in such a tension-packed environment. But nothing, not even…
‘Frost Quake’ Rocks Ohio
Just about every news outlet today has a story on the “frost quake” that rocked Ohio and parts of Indiana early this morning. And why not? Spontaneous shaking of the earth caused by ice? Sounds like a recipe for an end-of-days action flick waiting to happen. They would probably cast Nicolas Cage, though, and it…
Pink’s Hot Dogs Coming to Cedar Point
Betty White, Adam Sandler, Martha Stewart and Bobby Flay are all fans. And now you can be too — without a costly trip to the West Coast. Often billed as the “Hot Dog to the Stars,” Pink’s hot dogs (http://www.pinkshollywood.com) has been a Hollywood legend for more than 70 years. This summer, that legend will…
Ed Fitzgerald Fires Coroner Frank Miller, Engineer Robert Klaiber Jr., Others
Cuyahoga County Executive Ed Fitzgerald’s house cleaning continues. This morning he announced that Coroner Frank Miller, Engineer Robert Klaiber Jr., child-welfare director Deborah Forkas and Senior and Adult Services Director Susan Axlerod will be fired. Fitzgerald said: “The people have asked for new leadership in Cuyahoga County. The public should be assured we are moving…
XYZ Tavern to Open Next Friday
It’s all but guaranteed, says Randy Kelley: XYZ the Tavern will open its doors next Friday (February 18) at 5 p.m. “It was a loooong time coming, I’ll tell you what,” Kelley said with a sigh of relief. The final inspections took place this week, finally clearing the way for the Detroit Shoreway restaurant’s opening.…
Thieves Rob KFC Freezer
Who are we to judge what thieves target? Some target jewels, cash, valuables, scrap metal, and anything that can be quickly turned into dough. Others steal out necessity. Still others steal for food. Specifically chicken. More specifically, the colonel’s recipe. The Ashtabula Star Beacon reports that thieves broke into a Kentucky Fried Chicken and looted…
Teacher Stored Naked Photos Of Himself On School iPad
It’s all well and good if you want to send naked pictures to your wife with sexy little messages. Whatever keeps the spark alive, man. But you have to be careful where you store the pictures. There’s plenty of people out there — notably, everyone except your wife and maybe including your wife — who…
Jennifer Brunner Returns to Spotlight With Launch of PAC
Former Ohio Secretary of State Jennifer Brunner promised that we hadn’t heard the last of her when she left office in January. Now she’s fulfilled her promise with the launch of her Courage PAC. The online and real-world organizing tool aims to harness the energy of the passionate base of grassroots supporters she built while…
Morning Brew: Leasing the Turnpike, Traffic Cam Lawsuit, Opposing the Death Penalty, and Wearing The Same Dress For Six Months,
Good morning, Cleveland. Here’s some stuff to read while you join a class-action lawsuit. — Governor Kasich says leasing the turnpike could bring Ohio $2.5 billion dollars. Hopefully some of that dough would be spent bringing better restaurants to rest stops. Seriously, that’s about all we’re concerned about. (AP) — Cleveland’s traffic cameras are facing…
Richmond Heights Basketball Coach Accused of Racist Language (Updated)
Updated: The district has removed Jason Popp from his head coaching position. He will keep his teaching job, however. (WOIO) *** Players on the Richmond Heights varsity basketball team and their parents are livid over (white) head coach Jason Popp’s alleged racist language and verbal abuse. The team is 15-0 at the moment, but seven…
What Bad Economy? Clinic Payroll Includes 13 Millionaires
A million bucks The tax exempt, not-for-profit- Cleveland Clinic, the same Cleveland Clinic that reduced charity care this year due to economic concerns, paid 13 employees more than $1 million in 2009. The year before, the Clinic made millionaires of only 11 people. Our friends at MedCity News did the legwork, combing through the 145-page…
George Clooney Is Here! George Clooney Is Here!
If the women of Ohio seem a little flushed today, a little out of breath, a little more distant, it’s because George Clooney is in the Buckeye State. So strong is the magnetic pull of his rugged handsomeness. He’s down in Cincinnati filming and scouting locations for his new movie, “Ides of March,” a film…
27 Minutes with Steven Wright
Veteran comedian, actor, painter, and songwriter Steven Wright brings his “surreal, absurdist” comedy to the Ohio Theatre on Playhouse Square on Sunday, February 20 at 7 p.m. Best known for his deadpan delivery and bizarre observations (“Some people are afraid of heights. I’m afraid of widths”), Wright holds the number 23 spot on Comedy Central’s…
Spin Premieres Cloud Nothings’ Trippy New Video
Potty break! Cloud Nothings’ new video for “Understand at All” is now playing exclusively at Spin.com. The three-minute clip starts as a convenience-store version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, with some derelict old ghoul drinking a concoction of candy, snacks, and Pepto-Bismol that turns him into an ass-kicking, bling-sporting grandpa in a red tracksuit.…
P-Funk Tear the Roof Off the Sucker in Kent — For Free!
Wait till they bring out the dude in the diaper George Clinton is bringing his Parliament-Funkadelic psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop to Kent on February 20 for a free show. The mothership lands at the Water Street Tavern at 8 p.m. as part of the club’s 10th anniversary celebration. The bar is predicting a rush of fans will want…
Joshua Ricket Arrested In Death of Girlfriend’s 19-Month-Old Son (Updated)
Update II: Joshua Ricket was sentenced today to life in prison with no chance at parole for 30 years. (WOIO) *** Update: Joshua Ricket pleaded guilty to murdering his girlfriend’s 19-month-old son. When the child would not stop crying, Ricket threw the baby on a bed and choked him. He faces life in prison. ***…
Ohio Teacher Accused of Sex With Football Players Resigns
Stacy Schuler is out of the clink and wearing an electronic monitoring device after allegedly having sex with a handful of minors. She’s now also without a job. The 32-year-old resigned from her position as a health and gym teacher at Mason High School in southwest Ohio while she waits for a court date. Schuler…
Jillian’s Is Closing, Space To Be Reborn as Tapas Bar
Fans of Jillian’s Billiard Club (12459 Cedar Rd., 216-397-0900) should say their “goodbyes” now or forever hold their peace. In as little as two months, the 20-year-old Cleveland Heights entertainment venue will be no more. The club is the last Jillian’s location in Ohio. By spring, building owner Kim Lisboa will convert the 10,000-square-foot space…
Pic of the Day: Die With Dignity Billboard
Driving down I-77, minding your own business, drinking coffee on the way to work? Probably not the time when you want to think of assisted suicide and end-of-life issues, but a new billboard is stoking such flames and its fair share of controversy. WKYC reports on the group behind the “Die With Dignity” billboard:
Morning Brew: Bath Salts as Drugs, Scrap Metal Thefts, Casino Looking for Workers With Good Personalities, and Wind Chills
Good morning, Cleveland. Here’s some stuff to read while you put on every layer of clothing you own. — Cleveland’s casino is looking to hire people with good personalities. Translation: They don’t mind if you’re fat. (Cleveland.com) — Over 2,000 warrants were issued to search homes suspected of being broken into for copper and other…
Grady Sizemore, SPANX Appearing on Hot in Cleveland
Slow news day? Slow news day. So here’s something: Grady Sizemore is a guest star on this week’s episode of ‘Hot in Cleveland.’ Here’s the synopsis via NewsNet5: A pair of ‘magic SPANX’ comes into the ladies’ lives and leads them to unexpected adventures. Joy seeks love, but ends up with a much, much younger…
Grandparents Kept Kid Locked in Bathroom for 6 years
Two Dayton-area parents are officially our Shitheads of the Week after police say they kept their granddaughter locked in a bathroom for six years. Brian Hart, 52, and Rivae Hart, 49, were the girls’ legal guardians. Unfortunately. They’re now charged with kidnapping and child endangerment because the little girl was barricaded in a bathroom (with…
Cleveland a Top Ten City for Love
The Daily Beast, which we’re pretty sure does nothing but compile rankings, busted out a new one today: The Best Cities to Find Love. Your humble town came in 9th on the list, proving once again that Cleveland is the best at everything. Factoring in singles, marriage and divorce rates, and some other stuff that…
National Enquirer Claims John Boehner Had Affairs
Everyone’s favorite crying orange could be in a spot of trouble early in his tenure as Speaker of the House. The National Enquirer claims that Boehner had some sexytime affairs with two women, additionally reporting that the New York Times has an ongoing probe on the alleged sex scandal as well. Yes, it’s the Enquirer,…
Drunk Woman Pulls Herself Over for DUI
Things can get hazy when you’re driving under the influence. Dulled senses are further confused with nervousness, impaired vision, and the constant paranoia that something is going to go wrong. Take Nicole Scott, for instance. She was driving home, focusing on the road, when she thought she saw police lights behind her. Crap. So she…
Cleveland Not a Good City For Men
Men’s Health broke out their 10th annual rankings of the best cities for men and Cleveland was way, way down near the bottom, finishing 89th out of 100 cities. What highly scientific metric did the mag use in their breakdown? Turns out they factored in a quite exhaustive list of stats, from health to happiness,…
Bites: Meet StrEat Mobile Bistro
“We are a little different from the other food carts out there,” explains Izzy Schachner, owner of the soon-to-debut StrEat Mobile Bistro. “Technically, we are considered a mobile restaurant, not a food cart. This is a full kitchen on wheels.” Schachner, who also runs Cleveland Corporate Caterers and the Courthouse Café (in the Federal Courthouse…
On View This Week
Artists Archives of the Western Reserve: Art Along the Way. Suzan Kraus is a multimedia collage artist. Mark Krieger creates colorful abstract paintings and drawings. Together in this dynamic exhibition, the two artists offer a memorable glimpse into Ohio’s contemporary visual-arts scene. Through February 25 at 1834 East 123rd St. For more information, go to…
Sushi, Steak & Style
Jeff Allison has always ridden the crest of the wave, his career choices placing him in all the right places at all the right times: the Brillo Pad in the mid-’90s, Spy Bar and Mercury Lounge in the late ’90s, Touch Supper Club in the early aughts. When Allison predicted the demise of the velvet-roped…
Get Out!
Thursday | 10 Funny Stuff Jimmy Shubert Hits Hilarities Comedian Jimmy Shubert is a man on a mission: “I like to entertain people in any form and under any circumstances,” he rasps in his Philly accent. “Whether it’s in a sold-out theater or in the middle of a war zone in Afghanistan, my mission is…
Home Movies
Thelma & Louise: 20th Anniversary Edition (MGM) It’s been 20 years since Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis hit the road, fooled around with Brad Pitt, and kicked up a new kind of feminism. Director Ridley Scott’s you-go-girl parable is a mash-up of a lot of things: revenge pics, buddy movies, road films, and Butch Cassidy…
Master Strokes
Starting this week, the Akron Art Museum offers an exclusive opportunity to survey the breadth of M.C. Escher’s four-decade career. Impossible Realities showcases 130 of the artist’s finest works, starting with his early book plates, moving on to landscapes, tessellations, and impossible worlds, and concluding with his final 1969 print, “Snakes.” Featured are such instantly…
We Get Mail
Lighting Up Boehner Smokers are the rudest and dumbest people in the world [“John Boehner Will Continue Smoking, Thank You Very Much,” at the Scene & Heard blog]. Don’t ask us to inhale your poison or pay your medical bills. You are addicts, and your excuses are even more irritating. Rogerrok A Smoker Butts In…
Drink of the Week
February cold hangs heavy on a guy or gal, and few are the drink options that can hike up your BAC and body temperature in one heady gulp. When spiking the office coffee pot gets old, snowshoe over to Tremont’s Prosperity Social Club. The bar — well known for its cozy, '70s-basement decor, board games,…
Roman Ruins
Our movies are littered with historical badasses. Braveheart. Gladiator. 300. Each has upped the kick-ass quotient to include more blood, more guts, and more all-around face-smashin’ action. It’s not enough anymore to give characters period haircuts, antiquated names that are hard to spell, and armor that may or may not hold up against marauding warriors.…
In the Club
DJ Brent Still Life (29-year-old Clevelander Brent Rosplock) spins everything from drum ‘n’ bass and garage to house and downtempo. But lately he’s been playing a lot of dubstep, and it’s made his weekly Friday gigs at Touch one of the most popular in town. “It constantly changes,” he says. “But I usually [start with]…
CD Review: Jessica Lea Mayfield
Dan Auerbach brings out the best in 21-year-old Kent singer-songwriter Jessica Lea Mayfield on her major-label debut. The Black Key produced Tell Me, but he also plays guitar, sings backing vocals, and adds drum loops. His touch is obvious on the twangy “Our Hearts Are Wrong” and the woozy “Trouble,” a ballad in which Mayfield…
Stuck in the ’60s
The Long Road — a folk, rock, blues, and bluegrass collective made up of local veterans — first played together three years ago. The six members juggle 18 instruments among them. “It’s mostly three people [onstage], so there’s lots of harmonies,” says singer and guitarist David Budin. “We’re always trading off on lead vocals. We…
Local Band in Focus
Meet the Band: Tom Fihe (bass), Zack Kelly (drums), Jeff Kalal (guitar), Cody Kelly (guitar), and Michael Socrates (guitar) They Want to Be Your Friend: Formed in 2005, the instrumental quintet has built a substantial international following from its Akron stronghold using social media and licensing deals to spread its music. Their debut album, Above…
What Day Is It?
Thursday frontman Geoff Rickly still struggles with his band’s identity. More than a dozen years into their career, he’s trying to grasp how the post-hardcore heroes gradually shifted to, well, whatever it is they can be considered now. “It’s just something you use to brand yourself,” he says. “It just isn’t as important to me…
Film Capsules
Another Year (PG-13) — A year in the life of a happily married couple. Directed by Mike Leigh. Biutiful (R) — Alejandro González Iñárritu’s latest, starring Javier Bardem as a father and petty crook who takes stock of his life after he’s diagnosed with cancer. Black Swan (R) — Nina (Natalie Portman) has finally scored…
Roll Tape
Sexy movies are about more than Sharon Stone flashing her cooter or Demi Moore covering herself in clay. They’re about the romance at the center of the story that drives it. If all you want is a pile of writhing flesh, watch a porn flick. Those people are pros and know what they’re doing. We’ll…
The Player’s Playlist
A good Valentine’s Day playlist should feature a mix of fast and slow songs. It should build mood — take it easy at first, slide into something a little more daring, explode near the end, and come down with ease. It shouldn’t last more than an hour. And it should include plenty of songs about…
Stay In!
TOP PICK — VIDEO GAME Mass Effect 2 (BioWare) One of last year’s best games finally comes to the PlayStation 3, and it’s lost none of its intensity. The deep storytelling is still here, and so are the great action set pieces. This sci-fi RPG pretty much redefines how these types of games think and…
On Stage This Week
Nothing says Baby be mine like an evening of evocative dance from Cleveland’s own Verb Ballets. Their latest spectacle, Open Your Imagination, features four programs ranging from a world premiere (“Breath” by artist-in-residence Terence Greene) to a vintage master work (Alwin Nikolais’ “Noumenon Mobilus,” pictured). It all happens at 8 p.m. Friday, February 11, at…
Lust 2011: The Survey Results
You sick bastards. Yes, each year we invite a big ol’ ugly mess of trouble when we go public with our Sex & Romance survey. This year, we served up more questions than ever before — and you served up an unprecedented batch of filth and frivolity in response. Indeed, the false security of the…
Bieber Beaters
You may know someone who’s excited about Justin Bieber: Never Say Never, the 3D documentary and concert movie that opens on Friday. And there’s a really good chance that someone is a 13-year-old girl. But for those of us with more, um, mature tastes, there are plenty of great concert movies that put you in…
At the Arthouse
The Battleship Potemkin Sergei Eisenstein’s 1925 masterpiece is based on a true story about a naval strike that turned deadly in Russia 20 years earlier. There’s great storytelling and cinematography here, but also several scenes that are among the most famous in movie history (including one with a baby carriage falling down some steps). This…
Concert Calender
Cabinet As band names go, “Cabinet” is about as wooden as it gets. But one listen to their recent live album, This Is Cabinet, will change any initial perceptions you may have. Cabinet are a bluegrass band — and damn good at it. Hailing from Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, the sextet has built its career onstage, stretching…
